Urkel's Funeral
One night many years ago, I had a strange and funny dream.
The dream began inside the foyer of a church. A coffin rested on a table next to me. I realized I was at a funeral, but who's funeral I did not know. I stared at the coffin for a moment, then realized that I was a pallbearer for the deceased—the sole pallbearer.
I grabbed the casket and began to carry it into the chapel (because of course I can do that single-handedly in my dreams). As I entered the chapel, I saw the pews were packed with people. there was a sloped aisle leading directly to the pulpit. To the left of the pulpit was a beautiful centerpiece of flowers, with a picture of the deceased in the middle of the arrangement.
Steve Urkel! The picture was that of a smiling Steve Urkel, regaled in his familiar plaid shirt, colored suspenders, and large spectacle glasses! I realized that I was attending Steve Urkel's funeral. And not only was I attending, but I was distinguished enough to be his sole pallbearer! What an honor!
Suddenly, my grip on the casket slipped. I heard it fall to the ground with a crash. Next, it began to slide. Down the aisle the casket went, picking up speed with every passing instant! Heads began to turn in surprise. The casket continued its descent at NASCAR-like speeds!
Smash! The casket crashed into the pulpit. The body of Steve Urkel came flying out! With an explosion of beautiful flowers, Steve Urkel's airborne body (surprisingly aerodynamic!) crashed headfirst into the prepared centerpiece. Gasps filled the air in shock.
Every single head in the audience turned back to me. Immense guilt filled my soul with terror as I realized that I had just crashed Steve Urkel's funeral, literally! In horror, I strove to muster up my best, deepest, sincerest apology.
I woke up from my dream, screaming my apology at the top of my lungs:
"Did I do that?"
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The dream began inside the foyer of a church. A coffin rested on a table next to me. I realized I was at a funeral, but who's funeral I did not know. I stared at the coffin for a moment, then realized that I was a pallbearer for the deceased—the sole pallbearer.
I grabbed the casket and began to carry it into the chapel (because of course I can do that single-handedly in my dreams). As I entered the chapel, I saw the pews were packed with people. there was a sloped aisle leading directly to the pulpit. To the left of the pulpit was a beautiful centerpiece of flowers, with a picture of the deceased in the middle of the arrangement.
Steve Urkel! The picture was that of a smiling Steve Urkel, regaled in his familiar plaid shirt, colored suspenders, and large spectacle glasses! I realized that I was attending Steve Urkel's funeral. And not only was I attending, but I was distinguished enough to be his sole pallbearer! What an honor!
Suddenly, my grip on the casket slipped. I heard it fall to the ground with a crash. Next, it began to slide. Down the aisle the casket went, picking up speed with every passing instant! Heads began to turn in surprise. The casket continued its descent at NASCAR-like speeds!
Smash! The casket crashed into the pulpit. The body of Steve Urkel came flying out! With an explosion of beautiful flowers, Steve Urkel's airborne body (surprisingly aerodynamic!) crashed headfirst into the prepared centerpiece. Gasps filled the air in shock.
Every single head in the audience turned back to me. Immense guilt filled my soul with terror as I realized that I had just crashed Steve Urkel's funeral, literally! In horror, I strove to muster up my best, deepest, sincerest apology.
I woke up from my dream, screaming my apology at the top of my lungs:
"Did I do that?"
Next humorous blog post >>>
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