The Evolution of an Employee
Recognition Check
As many of you may already know, I, Michael Cook, was
awarded the much-coveted “Employee of the Quarter” Employee Recognition award
in January. I was greatly honored, but not surprised, to be recognized for my
amazing and superhuman efforts. As part of that recognition, I was given
custody of the highly-sought-after Employee Recognition check, pictured
below:
I hung this check above my cubicle with great pride. While
this gift was truly a distinguishing and appropriate accolade, I felt it failed
to truly capture the nobility and prominence such an award deserved and
demanded. And so, I gave this check a most apt and fitting addition, as seen
below:
Ah, now there was a handsome prize truly worthy of its
magnanimous and gracious recipient.
However, one of my envious co-workers (jealous of my
well-deserved prestige, and in a dastardly and cowardly act executed in the
panic of the night and under the cover of dark) vandalized and desecrated my
newfound holy shrine of distinction, as pictured below:
Ever forgiving, and being of a jovial and kind-natured
disposition, I looked upon such “decorations” with good humor and harmony.
After all, I’ve been known to be quite the chivalrous and noble gentleman. I’ve
even been known to sport a dashing moustache and debonair top hat. So why not
display such fitting aristocracy?
However, sensing that their irascible and ill-humored prank
had fallen short of its ugly mark, my co-workers set about again to defile my
most honored award in an ever-increasing sign of pathetic and pitiable jealousy,
as seen below:
Now this had gone too far. Surely one could see the
resemblance I bore to a noble gentlemen of days gone by and yester-yore, but
none could see such a resemblance with a childish and buffoonish cartoon mouse.
How long would I be required to suffer such egregious and unjust wrongs under
the unbearable weight of my resentful co-workers? The very universe demanded
that such injustices had to be sent right; and I was just the person qualified
to reconcile these inequities with the same fairness and wisdom that has made
me so well-known at work.
Given the shocking insubordination and complete disregard
for any civility of my co-workers, it seemed only fair that I solemnly take the
throne to rule over them. Consequently, I requested that my co-workers/servants
in the future only refer to me as “Your royal majesty” or “Your royal
highness”.
In a desperate act to try to usurp my rightful throne, my
co-workers/servants stole the crown and sought to relegate me to the most lowly
of statuses, as seen below:
Given the good nature of the jests and tomfoolery that my
co-workers and I had undertaken, and given my obvious ability to take the
higher road on such matters, I sought a peaceful and conciliatory approach to
our “check decoration” differences, which took the form of a well beloved video
game character (seen in an underwater level of the video game), as pictured
below:
Lamenting the loss of the original “distinguished gentleman”
check from so long ago, my co-workers wished they could bring it back (this
being their favorite design). But, alas, we cannot live in the past. I
challenged my co-workers to rise to the occasion and create an even better “check
decoration” than ever before. Not surprisingly though, my co-workers cowered
and recoiled at the challenge and opportunity.
And that is where my exciting tale ends. Perhaps, one day, the Employee Recognition
check will find its way back to its true home at my desk.
If you'd like read my previous humor-based post, it can be found at this link.
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